April 7, 2021 The Average Tanker

Dear Rex

It's "advice" I guess....

Dear Frosty,

When you’re playing the Dicker Max, or any fixed-hull gun for that matter, camouflage is always an important factor. You don’t have to be an expert, or even have the perk, but here are a few tips for avoiding those embarrassing situations in future so that you can enjoy your Dicker Max in peace.

1: Pick a good location, with liberal helpings of cover and a clear line of escape. If you’re banging away on your Dicker Max in sniper mode you won’t be very aware of your surroundings, so help yourself out by making it difficult for people to spot you.

2: Get a gun rammer. If you’re in danger of being discovered then being able to fire quickly is a huge advantage, especially if you’re going to be playing with your Dicker Max in public where your friends can’t help you out.

3: Practice! If you have experience playing with your Dicker Max around Motherlands and Fatherlands, perhaps even your Ztep-Zizka if you’re particularly adventurous, you’re going to become a master in no time.

I’d also suggest investing in Sixth Sense or Situational Awareness, just in case you get caught with your pants down again.

I hope that helps, reader!

Imperial (Rex)


Dear Thingaa,

Relax! I hear about this kind of thing all the time in my line of work!

The O-I is a big girl, but the same people laughing at you for jumping inside her are the same people paying gold for permanent inscriptions on their Matildas – The Matilda isn’t a fitness model either, so ignore those jerks. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, from 6lbs to 8,8cm, so don’t let it get you down. Many will seek to compensate for their lack of penetration by blaming the world rather than themselves, but the truth is that the only reason they care is because they can’t get any penetration of their own. The O-I is big and beautiful and you should be proud of her.

Load her with your premium shells, slap pretty camo all over her and don’t be afraid to give her a good gun rammer if you’re really in the mood – You might be surprised at how well she performs before she explodes.

I hope that helps!