Oct 21, 2011
Times are tough in the world today. Many people are without work, without homes, without hope that it can or will get better. As a community of adults, we see this, we feel this everyday in one way or another. As many of you know, I am a believer in paying it forward, of helping others so they in turn can help someone else. This belief isn’t mine alone, it is shared by the Staff and the Officers of this site, as a matter of fact it has become an unofficial rule within the Pork Chop Platoon. LEAVE NO PIG BEHIND. Because of this we strive to support our brothers and sisters in whatever way we can. It is in keeping with this spirit of helping that a member has asked me to share his story. It is a very personal account of his life and he is GIVING that to everyone so that the message is clear…you are not alone! No matter how bad it gets, there is always a reason to move forward and there are always people you can turn to for help. His gamertag is BlackHawkFD, his name is Tony and this is his story.
Blackhawk
Here’s the deal, three years ago, around this time, my pop got sick. Didn’t tell anyone he was supposed to be having stress test, EKGs’, and such. He had foot surgery. It never healed right. He passed in Jan 2009.
Fast forward a year and I have a kid. Not one of my better life choices as far as mother was concerned but awesome and loving kid. To hurry this along: Laid off, got a shit job (but its work), on child support, paying money based on what I was making then, not what I am making now, cars on a wing and a prayer. No one in my state is hiring for my chosen profession (I am looking out of state and seeing things about first of next year). I’m single, would love to have a relationship but I can’t with what I got going on. My baby mama is just that, a baby mama in every sense of the word. My living situation makes me wanna cry sometimes (not going into it, but I due appreciate family). Can’t buy what I need for my kid sometimes (but a way is always made).
I say all that to say today I find out that the person who raised me, who kept me and my son off the street (my grandpa) is in the hospital for his heart and kidneys. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but you know what, I’m OK either way. It will hurt if it should take a turn for the worse, but no one lives for ever (yeah Flemming I stole the title do something about it).
I say all of the above to stress the fact that shit’s bad. Most days I don’t even want to get out of bed, but for all the bad things there are good. For all the things you guys/gals maybe going through, make it a point to find the silver lining. Focusing on the bad will not help your situation. Find the good however small it may be and thank your lucky stars for it. I should be mentally fucked right now but I’m not because I know it will get better. I know that life sucks but if the bitch don’t get in line, life knows I will fuck it up. It gets bad for us all but that’s ok . It will get better. Theres too many people we all know for you not to find someone to talk too. Weather it be your clan mates, family, coworkers, friends, hell in some cases your kids. There’s always someone willing to listen. Never ever think you have to bare your burden alone. If the above list doesn’t do it for you seek help. Too many avenues for you to try and shoulder what ails you on your on.
That’s all I wanted to say.
If you find yourself in the same situation or just down on your luck, yes, you’ll be forced to make decisions you never wanted to contemplate, and to rely on strength you didn’t even know you had. I hope that these practical tips ( credit goes to Jennifer Wolf , I just modified them to be more universal ) will help you persevere through the challenges you face and gain a renewed sense of hope and personal strength for the days ahead. And as BlackHawkFD said, theres always someone willing to listen.
Develop a Support Network
This is absolutely crucial. You need to know who you can depend on right now. Most likely, this network includes your immediate family and friends, but think about other people in your life who might also help you. Making an actual list of who these people are can help remind you that you’re not alone. In addition, consider joining a formal support group for single parents.
Schedule Time to be Alone
Time is a very powerful tool. It will bring you healing, hope, and perspective. Right now, it’s important that you create pockets of time in your life when you can just be. Time when you’re not accountable for completing a task or responding to questions. Time to sit, to think, to ponder. This is one of the most important life tips, and it’s one that you simply must make time for.
Think Outside the Box
If finding time to yourself sounds impossible, consider some creative solutions, like swapping babysitting time with a neighbor or waking up a half-hour before the rest of your household. The time that you give yourself is precious, and it will be fruitful in helping you to establish reserves of inner strength.
Be Present with Your Kids
When you’re with your children, make an effort to be emotionally present with them. It would be easy to retreat into your heart right now, but this is a time when your children truly need you more than ever. Simple activities like playing a board game or taking a walk together can go along way toward communicating the message that life will go on and they will, indeed, be okay.
Get the Facts About Your Situation
You might be tempted to make quick decisions right now about where to live and how to handle your finances. However, ignorance in this area can be extremely dangerous, and so can making rash, uninformed decisions. For now, take the time to find out where you stand financially. Gather the necessary papers in order so that when you are emotionally ready to make changes, you’ll be prepared and able to make informed decisions.
Grieve
Expressing your feelings is important to your overall health. Consider writing in a journal or scheduling a regular “date” with a friend to vent, cry, and grieve. Bad circumstances are born of many different situations. Whether you’ve experienced the loss of a job, the end of a marriage, or an adjustment to the dream you once held for your life, it is important to grieve and process the loss before moving on.
Pay Attention to your Physical Health
This may be a time when you are feeling especially worn down and drained. Combat that by making the effort to eat healthy foods and choose energizing ways to fuel your body. Instead of relying on extra caffeine, try taking a walk at lunchtime. Additionally, getting adequate rest is crucial to your healing and ability to cope. Forgo the temptation to sit in front of the TV. Instead, read a book and go to bed early.
Identify What Gives You Strength
In the past, how have you handled challenging times in your life? What most energizes you and reminds you that you possess the strength needed to meet the current challenge? Focus on what has worked for you in the past.
Let Go of What Isn’t Working
Likewise, let go of what has not worked for you. As you move through this time, reflect on the habits and choices that have not served you well, and decide to change them. In addition, if there are things from the past that you cannot change, let go of unhealthy guilt and remorse.
Focus on the Positive
This is a time of new growth in your life. Take the time to think about the things that are going well for you. Having a positive attitude – even in the midst of extreme circumstances – can empower you to move ahead and provide your children with a tangible example of the coping strategies you want them to adopt.
Ask for Help
Of all of the tips listed here, this one is the most difficult to apply. However, you must know that there really are people around you who would love to help! Keep in mind, too, that allowing others to help you is a gift to yourself and to the person assisting you. Sharing in one another’s lives during difficult times affirms our human connection and brings a sense of purpose to everyday living.
The Pork Chop Platoon is a gaming clan for those over 25, but we are also a family no matter how disfunctional we can be at times. If you are looking for good friends to play videogames with, if you are looking for comraderie and a sense of home, then enlist today and NEVER game alone again.
Good stuff. Times may get tuff but tomorrow is a new day.
Have to agree with Neck. While it may be hard, A positive attitude sure does help.